God Bless America. I love this country. I’m currently in California. If I lived in California I’d be morbidly obese because of stuff like this:
but also this:
Hard to show scale here – I did try re-arranging the papayas, to little avail.
Seriously, you don’t stand a chance when even a healthy choice like a papaya is super-sized.
I get a bit Rainman when I’m in American supermarkets. I just love this sort of shit:
and check out this selection of pickles:
So much beauty in too much choice.
I actually went to Ralphs to check on a couple of things in the book. Firstly, their selection of Ben and Jerry’s. Am delighted to report back on this Limited Edition flavour with an excellent pun title:
My list of dream jobs goes as follows:
AA Gill’s job
Chief namer of new Ben and Jerry’s flavours
Tina Fey’s joke sounding board
Alec Baldwin’s cleaner
Writer on The Simpsons / The Onion
The other reason I entered Ralphs was to look at their cakes. In Pear-Shaped, Sophie goes to Ralphs in a state of heartbreak, looking for a sugary treat, and is paralysed by choice. She looks at the cakes and they all look too big / too fake. I wanted to check that I was on the right track – given that the book is in final proof stage, it’s a bit late to start fact checking, but hey ho… Anyway, am happy to report they sell exactly the sort of over-sized, over-fussed up baked goods that I’d imagined, comme ca:
Where is Dan Big Hands when you need him? These cakes look normal sized, but they are not. They are grotesque, gigantique, gargantuan, fundamentally gross parodies of normal cakes.
Finally, I leave you with what I find a sinister line-up:
As you know America is a litigious nation, so I shall reserve my jokes for another time, another place. For now let’s just give thanks that we are not chickens at the mercy of Chef Emeril’s Chicken Rub.